Yesterday, my son stood up in front of a classroom of his peers and apologized for being alive. As a mother, I cannot find the words to fully explain how it felt to hear my 11-year-old son say those words. It’s heart-shattering and terrifying, and it’s a feeling no parent should ever have to feel.
Today Sawyer starts his first day of middle school. Most people would probably think "Man, that kid is excited for school to start!" What they don't know is that he wasn't excited- he was overly prepared because he was a ball of nerves- worrying about being bullied, getting lost, or the work being too hard.
As I chatted recently with my sister about the upcoming school year, I thought again about how much I wish more school districts would do an autism training for teachers.
As parents, we are often told "choose your battles", which is a way of telling us to think about which battles are worth the fight.
This year, Sawyer has discovered and fallen in love with "Bluey"; it’s his latest fixation. I don’t want Sawyer to be made fun of or left out of things because he is into things that the other kids in his grade think are for babies. But I also don’t want to discourage Sawyer from loving…
The world of autism has changed so much since this became our family's life 10 years ago. There have been more diagnosed, and the categories for autism have changed.
Every year, 1 in 36 children in the US is diagnosed with autism. That is wild to me. because when Sawyer was diagnosed in 2015, the statistic was 1 in 52.
Sawyer has developed a new “tic”, or stim. He kind of “chews” or smacks his lips a little on the left side now, and that’s new. I asked him why he does that, and replied “Um, I don’t know. It’s just what I do.”
What do you do when your child's body is changing at a faster rate than their mind?
It's crazy to think back over our journey with autism. When I think about the frustrated toddler who could only grunt or whine to communicate with us, and then look at the boy he is today with an expansive vocabulary who passes as "normal" to so many, it blows my mind.
It's been nine years since we got the label of "autism family", and it's one we wear proudly.
I got asked recently if Sawyer would always have autism. The short answer is yes.
