I have a confession… I’m a true crime junkie. I love watching true crime documentaries, and I watch a lot of true crime stuff on YouTube, like bodycam videos of arrests and interrogations, etc. One of my biggest guilty pleasures is watching clips of pedophiles and other sexual predators getting busted. Chris Hansen’s “To Catch a Predator”, “Hansen vs. Predator” and “TakeDown with Chris Hansen” are faves of mine! I normally laugh and take joy in watching these sickos get arrested for trying to have sex with kids. But last night I saw an episode that stopped me in my tracks and kind of broke my heart…
In a normal occurrence for these types of shows, an older man arrives at a house expecting to have sex with an underage girl. Chris Hansen, along with a film crew and police, wait for the prime moment and then spring on him. Normally it’s funny to watch these men try to lie their way out of the situation, claiming they “didn’t know she was underage” or some other ridiculously unbelievable excuse. But last night, the man’s mannerisms and reaction to being surprised by Chris Hansen and his crew made my heart sink. He immediately tried to run and when they stopped him, he kept covering his ears and looking at the ground, saying “I’m sorry!” and begging them not to hurt him. At one point, the man even cried for his dad! Here was a 61-year-old man acting like a child getting in trouble for breaking the rules.
Chris Hansen eventually got the man to sit down on a couch in the house and began interrogating him. While interacting with Chris Hansen, his mannerisms reminded me a lot of Sawyer and the special needs children I’ve interacted with over the years. He didn’t seem to understand the sarcasm in Chris’ voice, and his movements were jerky. He answered all of Chris’ questions very literally, and seemed confused a lot when Chris tried to imply things about his actions or intentions. He wasn’t stupid- obviously he knew how to chat with women online and how to drive to a new address and everything, since he got himself to the house. It was never revealed whether or not he had special needs, but the autism mom in me is well-trained to notice things a lot of other people might miss and I would bet money that man was on the spectrum. From the way he was dressed, his mannerisms, and especially his speech everything about him screamed “autism”.
Yes, I’m aware he may not have autism at all. I’m no expert by any means, but after living in this world for the last 10 years, I see people through a different lens than most. I have been conditioned to watch body language and listen for differences in speech, and I’m sure that man is neurodivergent. Regardless, whether he has autism or not, what he did was wrong and he needed to face the consequences of his actions. However, the whole thing got me thinking about law enforcement and whether or not they are trained to spot the signs of disability…
I know some police departments require their officers to take training on how to deal with individuals with disabilities. At this point, with the rates of autism diagnosis skyrocketing, I personally feel that autism training should be required for anyone who has to deal with the public, but specially for those in law enforcement. Autism Speaks has a page on their site with wonderful tips and resources for how to approach someone with autism in an emergency situation. Here’s a snippet:
A person with autism might:
- Have an impaired sense of danger.
- Wander to bodies of water, traffic or other dangers.
- Be overwhelmed by police presence.
- Fear a person in uniform (ex. fire turnout gear) or exhibit curiosity and reach for objects/equipment (ex. shiny badge or handcuffs).
- React with “fight” or “flight”.
- Not respond to “stop” or other commands.
- Have delayed speech and language skills.
- Not respond to his/her name or verbal commands.
- Avoid eye contact.
- Engage in repetitive behavior (ex. rocking, stimming, hand flapping, spinning).
- Have sensory perception issues.
- Have epilepsy or seizure disorder.
If a first responder is able to identify that a child or adult may have autism, he or she can then respond in a way that best supports the individual.
When interacting with a person with autism:
- Be patient and give the person space.
- Use simple and concrete sentences.
- Give plenty of time for person to process and respond.
- Be alert to signs of increased frustration and try to eliminate the source if possible as behavior may escalate.
- Avoid quick movements and loud noises.
- Do not touch the person unless absolutely necessary.
- Use information from caregiver, if available, on how to best respond.
In that episode last night, the man in question was completely overwhelmed by and afraid of the police and reacted by immediately trying to run away (flight). His language skills definitely seemed delayed, and he was avoiding eye contact with Chris Hansen the entire time Chris talked to him, constantly covering his ears and looking at the ground. He got frustrated and confused as Chris spouted off rapid-fire questions and didn’t seem able to fully process the questions to come up with an answer. If Chris Hansen had known to watch for these types of things, I wonder if his approach to the man might have been different- perhaps a little gentler?
I’m not saying people with disabilities should not have to answer for their crimes- they absolutely should- just like anyone else. However, I do think that there has to be a sense of understanding and empathy when dealing with those with mental disorders. They often have the mind of a child and need to be treated a little differently than someone with a “normal” brain- not because they deserve special treatment, but because it can literally be dangerous to everyone around them to handle them with the same hardness or tough demeanor. Since those with mental disabilities don’t process things or reason the way a neurotypical person would, it’s so important that these officers realize that and try to tailor their approach to be very clear and to be as calm and polite as possible while still being firm. Police officers have to react quickly to situations to take control safely, and without proper training it can be dangerous to try to intervene with someone on the spectrum who’s upset or stressed out. It’s so important that officers know how to recognize and treat individuals on the autism spectrum, to prevent escalation of situations and in some cases help them to understand why what they did was wrong, because some people may not understand that they’ve broken a law or hurt someone. Not only that, but a lot of people with mental disorders don’t know their own strength and they can hurt someone badly without trying- I’ve witnessed this first-hand many times.
I’ll never know whether or not that man on the episode last night was autistic. But when I think about how he was treated and- God forbid- how Sawyer might be treated if he was ever arrested for something, it makes my heart hurt. Yes, he broke the law but as I watched him I got the distinct feeling that he didn’t fully understand why what he did was wrong. As I fell down the rabbit hole of my own thoughts last night, I thought about that man’s parents and how they’d feel if they saw him so scared and confused the way he was, and the tough and mean way Chris Hansen spoke to him. I thought about a storyline on “Desperate Housewives” (which I’ve been rewatching lately, and if you’ve never seen it you should watch it!!) where a mentally disabled young man did something horrible and how his mother reacted and treated him. As I watched the episodes featuring this storyline, it occurred to me how differently I saw the storyline after having a mentally disabled son of my own, and how much more I understood his mother’s character and why she chose to do certain things. The first time I watched those episodes, I didn’t have a special needs son. Now that I do, I empathize with her panic and desire to protect him at all costs- fearing how police might treat him if they came to arrest him. I totally get it. And yes, it’s a TV show so a lot of elements of the show were super dramatic and crazy, but at the core of the storyline, I understood her. And last night watching that episode, I thought of that man’s mother and how she might have felt watching her son be treated the way he was. Of course he was 61- it’s a good possibility that his mother is long gone- but me and my overthinking mind thought of her and how I might react if it was my son.
Of course I am going to do everything I can as a mother to make sure Sawyer never ends up in a situation like that, but I think any autism mother will agree that we all worry about things like this. We worry about what will happen and how people will react and treat our child if they have a meltdown in public or somewhere we can’t be with them. I’ve seen firsthand many times how people react when Sawyer gets overwhelmed and lashes out. They get angry and disgusted that he would react the way he does, and sometimes even make rude or ugly comments about his behavior. Once I get to him and begin practicing our calming techniques, there’s usually a look of realization and sometimes even guilt once they understand that he has special needs. But even then sometimes people scoff at me “babying” him. It’s infuriating and so frustrating, but it’s part of life for a lot of us. And things like this are why we need more education and training for how to deal with people on the autism spectrum- especially adults who might not have someone there to explain how to calm their loved one down or help make the intervention easier. The unfortunate truth of life is that parents don’t get to be around forever, so we have to do what we can now to protect our children into adulthood. I’m so grateful that Sawyer has sisters who will fight tooth and nail to protect him and continue to help him even after I’m gone, but not everyone has people in their life to do that for them. For that reason, we have to continue spreading autism awareness.
